The Souls that Wander
by Ebony-Ink-Stain
Summary: "You said not all who wander are lost, right?" "...yes, I did..." "...so what happens when you can't wander any more?" Rated T, just in case.


Takato Matsuki

Journal #5

_I'm pretty sure Mr. Kubert hates me. I'm dead serious. Every time he catches me doodling in his class he gets this look like he's about to rip me in half, instead of the paper. He never does it though. Rip anything. Usually he just 'reminds the class that there will be no frolicking on the margins of the paper.' Who says that anyways? I kind of like it though. The frolicking on the margins, not him being a jerk I mean. It's like I'm playing with the pencil and paper, completely relaxed…even when I'm supposed to be taking notes. _

_You're pretty good about it though. The whole entire doodling thing. Is that why you convinced Ms. Donovan to switch me out of music into art? I know you did it. Henry caught you talking to her about it…after you kissed her. Are you two dating? I'm kind of dating someone. Kind of meaning there's a 15 hour flight between the U.S. and Japan and it's killing our relationship kind of dating someone. You have on your wall that "every torment is a blessing in disguise", but if this is a blessing, I'd hate to see what hell looks like. _

_Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure he hates the fact that I'm not a Christian. I know we're going to a private church-funded high school and all, but I'm from Japan. What does he expect is going to happen? All of these huge theology words like "sanctification" and "discontribulifinihilism" (okay, I know that's not a real word) just confuse me. At least he doesn't hate my guts the way he hates Henry's. I could've sworn the "debate" they had over artificial intelligence was going to get Henry expelled for sure. I mean, I feel the same way as he does, but there's a time to speak out, you know? I think it was the whole entire "they don't have a soul" thing that sent him over the edge. Don't get me wrong. I was mad too, but…I mean I guess I can understand Mr. Kubert's viewpoint. Man can't create the soul, we can't even see the soul, so how do we know we gave them one? _

_Can we create the soul? I mean, is that even possible? It's not like we can just stitch together a bunch of organs and shoot it all up with electricity and say it has a soul. I mean, most people can barely agree on what a soul is. If it's who you are, than what makes that up? Is it your personality, your hopes, your dreams? But if that can change, does that mean the soul changes? Or if someone doesn't have any dreams, does that mean they have a little less of a soul? I don't know, and I'm not sure that it even matters. I think all that really matters is that you love that person, and if they love you back, then that's what makes life special. Maybe that's what having a soul means. _

**Mr. Montessori**

**Teacher Response: **

_Don't worry. Mr. Kubert doesn't hate you. In fact, he's pretty impressed by your artwork. Says you have a gift. He just wishes that you'd keep it to the easel. But I understand. If you don't get any of those creative muses out, you'll explode. Then the janitor would have to clean up all that blood…_

_Still, I can understand why you're frustrated. You're in a foreign land, away from everything and everyone you love, and here you are listening to a teacher who is spouting nothing but utter *bullcrap* (your perspective.) It sucks having somebody teach you about a God whom you have no interest in, no connection with. No love for. Especially when you're getting graded on it. To tell the truth (and don't tell this to anyone) I wish we didn't make theology a subject. I just wish you guys could take time to talk about your struggles, your victories, and where you stand with God and not get a grade put on it. But that's just a 30 year old man's dreams…._

_There are two things I want you to write on more. First, your girlfriend. Not that I nose around in student relationships (that's Ms. Donovan's job. 50% of couples in the school have the Donovan stamp of approval), but I think writing will help you through the stress of the relationship. It's easier to talk about your feelings with people when you first understand them. Write some love letters you wish you could send, or even email them to her. List the pros and cons of a long-distance relationship. Think about why this is so difficult. It makes it easier. Trust me. _

_Second, I want you to pursue your thoughts about the soul. What is a soul? Is it really something man can create? It's a deep subject that a lot of kids really don't think about. I think it's amazing, Takato, that you're asking these mature questions at such a young age. Although maybe we should just expect these things out of you guys. You're wiser than we think. _

_We're doing a research paper soon. I think this would be a great subject for it. Maybe not on what the soul is, per say, but the philosophies behind it. Think about that for me, would you? _

_Either way, you seem to have really strong feelings toward this subject. Why is that? Everyone has that one subject that drives deep into their core, and this seems to be yours. Why is this so important for you? Have you had any past experience with A.I.? I'm curious to understand the passion behind all of this. Feel free to explore your feelings about the subject in this notebook as well. _

_Remember, it is your choice whether or not to write about something in this notebook. You don't have to if you don't want to. If you do, but don't want me to read it, fold the page in half. Privacy guaranteed. _

_"Not all those who Wander are lost." J.R.R. Tolkien_


End file.
